i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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