I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
