There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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