i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
