THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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