I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
