I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
