Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
