WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
