He asked to "fluff my boner.."
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
