Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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