I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
It all started with a game of naked twister.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
