my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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