And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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