see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
COCAINE IS GR8
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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