all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
