totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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