Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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