This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
