If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
