there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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