i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
