i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Randomize
