I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Randomize
