I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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