I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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