I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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