It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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