Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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