I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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