He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You can't motorboat a personality
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
