I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
