I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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