I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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