i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
