oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
he shaved USA in his pubs
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Randomize
