I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
