Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
