You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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