I feel great
I just peed on a car
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
