sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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