She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
