a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
