Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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