yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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