I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
