There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
