you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
