its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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