My nipple is on Facebook.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I want her autograph on my taint
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
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