pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
