my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Be still, my beating vagina.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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