yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
