did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
