i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
