If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
im holly from the hills drunk
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Randomize
