I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
