you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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