There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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