Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
