ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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