Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
